If Florida State Players Were Video Game Characters
By Joe Nardone
Quaterbacks and Linemen-Super Mario Brothers
April 13, 2013; Tallahassee, FL, USA; Florida State Seminoles quarterback Jameis Winston (5) calls an audible during the second half of the Florida State spring game at Doak Campbell Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Melina Vastola-USA TODAY Sports
What would a quarterback be without his offensive line? Nothing. They would just be some random guy getting hit a lot by 300-pound defenders. Now, what would linemen be without quarterbacks? Just awkward, heavy-set guys. That is why we are combining the two groups of positions for our final (horrible) comparison.
The entire offensive line are basically Koopa Troopas. They are only around for the greater good. Just like Bowser, the quarterbacks get all the praise while the Koopa Troopas and offensive linemen do all the real, hard work. Like, seriously, Bowser had all this technology and all of those huge castles, but those poor Troopas had to use their own shells as their primary weapon and armor? They seriously need to unionize.
Then there are those glory stealing quarterbacks. Guys like John Franklin, Sean Maguire and Troy Cook are similar to the Super Mario Bother characters, Boo. Just like Boo, these backups only matter when you are not looking. I mean, if you are looking at them all they are doing is holding a clipboard. If you were to turn away, however, who knows that the heck they are doing. Probably chasing after something.
That leaves us with Mario and Luigi. So, again, we need to be honest. Jameis Winston is clearly Mario. More recognizable, more charming, dresses nicer (I guess), Winston has his love for cheese balls and Mario has his love for chasing a princess who clearly doesn’t want to be saved through 8 different castles (not counting sub-castles). Mario and Jameis are all the rage.
Finally, thankfully, just as Luigi has been overlooked for a long period of time so has Jacob Coker. The two can be correlated in so many ways, but none so bigger than that no one ever pays attention to either. I am sure the dude who created Super Mario Bothers intended for Luigi to matter more than he has, but alas, no one gives a darn about him and his green undershirt. It’s all about Mario. For some reason, I think a talented Coker can relate.
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Me, Twitter @JosephNardone