Jameis Winston: A Fan’s Guide to Following a National Treasure

April 13, 2013; Tallahassee, FL, USA; Florida State Seminoles quarterback Jameis Winston (5) runs the ball during the second half of the Florida State spring game at Doak Campbell Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Melina Vastola-USA TODAY Sports

We might have told you about the mythological man-beast known as Jameis Winston a few weeks ago, but Deadspin has officially made him a future national treasure. The thing about Winston being an MC Hammer aficionado  is the fact it’s only one part of his appealing personality.

Funny on social media, a two-sport athlete and a the Heartbreak Kid of the Florida State Seminoles — Jameis Winston is currently closer to being a Chuck Norris parody account on Twitter than he is at being recognized for his presumable talents on the football field. And you know what? We don’t give a flying pancake.

I mean, buying into the hype is awesome. Especially given the fact that Winston has coined the phrase Manziel disease. Really. I am being serious. Winston told reporters that if he ever came down with Manziel disease that they should slap him upside the head. Not only does this continue to make him endearing, but it will make him polarizing to opposing fanbases — which is as cool as a cucumber on the opposite side of your pillow.

Now that Winston is becoming a national treasure even before Jimbo Fisher officially names him the starter, the ways in which a fan should be along for the ride of Winston-Love-Mania-Fest-2013 might be confusing. That is why we are going to point you in the right direction, give you all the right tools and tell you how you can join the #JameisWinstonIsAMythologicalManBeast movement before you get left behind.

Here are some of the very important things you need to do to join the ride:

• #JameisWinstonIsAMythologicalManBeast whenever using Twitter.
• Follow him on the mean streets of Twitter. The players might be banned from using it, but reading his old stuff is still funny.
• Do not attempt to be objective while talking about him.
• Refer to Jameis as being better than EJ Manuel right now. Not when EJ was a freshman, but right now.
• Even though Fisher won’t name him the starting QB don’t let that stop you from starting his Heisman campaign.
• Make, watch or be inspired by Jameis Winston videos on YouTube.
• When talking about Winston — even if you’re not a FSU fan — refer to him as “our quarterback”
• While watching him play make sure to envision him actually being a gladiator who has the ability to throw a football.
• Make funny (or not so funny) child nursery rhymes with Winston being the primary character.

Example:

"Wiggidy, Wiggidy, Wiggidy, Yeah!Jameis Winston is a man-beast and eats garbage cans.If you want to be along for the ride, make sure your eyeballs are ready for the future best QB of all-time.If you decide you actually want to hate him.Well, man, then you are probably a fan of murderous, raping Florida Gators."

The end.

Joseph is the editor of ChopChat. For the love of Sam Cassell, follow him on the mean streets of Twitter @JosephNardone