SEC Media Day is currently going on and dominating the world around us. Somehow, grown men asking grown men questions about kids is not only the opposite of strange, but encouraged. I mean, in any other walk of life I am pretty sure that would be grounds for an investigation by the Law & Order Special Victims Unit.
Regardless, SEC Media Day has become such an event that it makes pro wrestling look modest. Compare the two all you want, but Mark Henry’s 80 year-old lover giving birth to a hand pales in comparison to Johnny Manziel ( a 20 year-old kid) being grilled by an ESPN employee about his nighttime ventures.
At least in pro wrestling the drama takes place with adults acting out a script. During SEC Media Day, however, the storylines are either contrived or at the expense of kids who play a game for our entertainment — for you know, free.
In the interest of full disclosure: I get suckered into watching and listening to this event like every other poor soul looking for football related things. Like Marty Jannetty’s ability to be awesome while totally not mattering, SEC Media Day is pretty fun despite the whole aspect of it being pretty irrelevant.
Coaches being asked random questions about other coaches, 1,200 media members and bloggers like myself just grasping at straws — hoping something interesting enough comes out of asking a coach if he prefers white or red wine.
Not a single facet of important information comes out of the event — only fun stuff. Which is cool by me. I don’t want a glorified, massive press event in mid-July to have anything that might hold merit in September. Given that most of the storylines that will come out of SEC Media Day will be null-and-void by the time the season starts, Jadeveon Clowney calling out QBs is as awesome as it will be unimportant when Tajh Boyd is screaming for his life.
Just remember as you watch Les Miles breakdown his favorite tasting grasses from across the nation that somewhere a pro wrestler is studying him hard. Not to find out what LSU might be up to this season, but to steal from his persona and add it to his gimmick when he gets the chance to impress the nation on an episode of Monday Night Raw (I am almost certain the wrestling character of Kane is somehow based off of Nick Saban in some loose ways. Mainly, the whole being born in the depths of hell thing).
There is certain events that we put on a pedestal which really don’t matter in the scheme of things. The ESPYs, WWE’s The Main Event, anything MTV Award show related and every project that is headed by Rob Dyrdek, are all things that the world can probably do without. Still, unlike SEC Media Day, these things are constantly thrown on our picture-box and we are told we are supposed to care — and sometimes we even do, a little.
SEC Media Day, though, is at least more entertaining than all those events as well as a bit better handled (still waiting for Dyrdek to try to rip off this and make it far less compelling and clever) . It isn’t going anywhere and complaining about it is the wrong move. Not because it is necessary, important or anything directly correlated to how the season will actually play out, but because — football.
Nearly every episode of Law & Order: SVU starts the same way. A person is dead and has been either sodomized, raped or been a victim of some horrible cult-sacrifice. The next 57 minutes of the show is loosely based off the first three minutes, but those first few minutes end up being pretty unimportant because of all the twists and turns in the script.
For us desperate for football, SEC Media Day is our first three minutes of a Law & Order: SVU episode.
Joseph is the editor for ChopChat. For the love of Sam Cassell, follow him on the mean streets of Twitter @JosephNardone