FSU Football: Guide for dealing with delusional Miami fans
By Jason Parker
FSU football will have their hands full on the field – while the obnoxious fans of what used to be “The U” will be a battle in its own.
Come Saturday, the 62nd edition of the annual rivalry game between FSU football and the Miami Hurricanes will kickoff with one team ending the game with bragging rights for another year. The only problem is that even if the Seminoles do come out on top for an eighth straight year, that won’t stop Canes fans from running your mouth.
If you live in South Florida like I do, you know how annoying it has gotten when fans of Miami continuing talking about how awesome they are and how great the football team is – with absolutely nothing to back it up. No championships for decades, no award winners and just one bowl win in the last decade… a far cry from what they once were.
As a public service to those of us who will be dealing with these people more in the coming days, we at Chop Chat would like to offer you a guide about what to say to Miami fans when they come at you with the same tired statements.
Statement: We have five national titles and you only have three!
Response: Remind them that the last time the ‘Canes won a national title (2001), this year’s freshman class was still in diapers to show them just how long it has been since they actually won a title. In addition, mention that if the number of titles shows how much better you are as a program, school like Minnesota, Pittsburgh and even Yale and Cornell have more titles than Miami.
Statement: The ACC Coastal Division is ours this year!
Response: This is something Miami fans have been saying to FSU football fans for years ever since joining the ACC in 2004 when it was supposed to be the “All Canes Conference”. Mention to them that since going to two divisions in 2005, the Canes haven’t won the division a single time – while schools like Duke and Wake Forest have been able to do that.
Statement: FSU has two losses already! It’s going to be a losing year in Tallahassee!
Response: If things go south for the rest of the regular season, it would be the first time the Seminoles have a losing season in over four decades (1976) while Miami has had two in the last 10 years (2007 and 2014). As an added bonus, mention to them what took place last year when Miami was unbeaten and Florida State had two losses.
Statement: FSU football is nothing but a bunch of criminoles!
Response: This is the easiest one…mention any of the following four names: Luther Campbell, Nevin Shapiro, Michael Irvin or Warren Sapp.
Statement: The Hurricanes run the ‘State of Miami’ and no school can out recruit us there!
Response: Hmmmm…four of the five top players right now on the FSU football roster are from South Florida – James Blackman (Belle Glade), Matthew Thomas (Miami), Brian Burns and Tarvarus McFadden (Plantation) – while names like Miami’s own Devonta Freeman and Dalvin Cook along with others from the area like Kelvin Benjamin, Lamarcus Joyner and more have chosen FSU over Miami under Jimbo Fisher.
Next: Top Moments in FSU Win Streak vs. Miami
Statement: Miami owns FSU!
Response: 2010…2011…2012…2013…2014…2015…2016…